While some of the fun has been missing from shopping lately (and by lately, I mean the last three years or so), I generally find something to enjoy when I pop into a Target store. Tonight, I was happy to find these gloriously cool semi-ugly socks. Houndstooth AND argyle? I might take a page from my friend Sara’s playbook and wear an argyle on one foot and a houndstooth on the other. Or perhaps mix up the purple and orange. I just don’t know - it’s so crazy, ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN.

This morning, I got to work early to get some things done before my cadre of meetings. Because that’s what today was.

I wanted to make myself some tea and then looked at my desk where I normally have my obnoxiously huge but perfectly-sized-really mug that I use for tea. It wasn’t there. And yesterday came flooding back to me… pouring out my tea at the end of the day, rinsing my mug, going to the ladies’ room, putting down the mug on the counter, leaving the ladies’ room…. with the notable exception of forgetting the mug.

WIth all the other stress and feeling down that I’ve been doing, this was a kind of last straw. I just wanted a comforting mug of tea. But I was a bloody moron and I left it in the bathroom where the cleaning people probably took it and threw it out. I don’t forget things. This is not me; I just don’t. I don’t lose keys, misplace papers, forget where I put my glasses. So I’ve been beating myself up all day (between meetings) over the sheer stupidity I exhibited in forgetting my mug, which I’ve had for the three years I’ve been at my job.

It’s stupid and ridiculous and you can laugh; I would laugh too if I weren’t on the brink of depression and insanity, but I almost cried when I realized it was my fault it was gone. I called our corporate services desk to see if it had been turned in to the lost & found or something, but it hadn’t. So it’s gone and I’m angry.

I don’t know whether I should go to Target or Home Goods and see if I can find a new obnoxiously large mug for tea, but this one was perfect. It really really was. And I’m genuinely pissed and upset at myself and this is what I do. I beat myself up over stupid stupid shit like misplacing a mug. Because I should know better. I should remember these little things. That’s what makes me, me. Now I feel too tired and angry to leave the house and deal with people.

Also, I’m not improving mentally. I’ve been thinking things like, “I only get up in the morning and go through the motions every day because it’s expected of me.” I take no joy or pleasure in anything. Food is for sustenance. Sleep is to pass the time between days with some unconsciousness because being conscious exhausts and saddens me. Everything else is Distraction, parading around in its sequined suspenders and platform clown shoes, keeping things noisy so that I’m not left alone with my thoughts. I’m more concerned with letting people down and being seen as irresponsible than I am about how sad it is that I don’t care about anything - and that’s what’s driving me. My heart isn’t in anything. I’m tired of this.

My brother called me while I was on my way home from work. He got food poisoning from some bad shrimp and asked me to get him some Gatorade. So I did, brought it to his apartment, and then left because he just wanted to sleep. It hit me: I am a resource. I am useful. I am here to perform my functions as a sister, daughter, friend, co-worker. I’ll drive you to the airport, notarize your papers, buy you Gatorade, do my job, do your job, take your guilt trip, provide support… whatever. I’m highly proficient at being there and doing stuff. I’m not here to enjoy life and that’s kind of good because I’m really not enjoying it lately.

I went to Target today looking for some shorts and “The Untouchables” on DVD. I succeeded on both counts, and even found an extra pair of shorts, an extra DVD and some new mascara to try. Anyway, back to my story.

Target is currently running a promotion of DVDs tied in to VH1’s “I Love the 80s” for $7.50 each. The wall display included seminal 80s movies like “Airplane!”, “Pretty in Pink”, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “Better Off Dead”, “Crocodile Dundee”, and the two I purchased: “The Untouchables” and “The Explorers.” I’d have squealed with joy if “Flight of the Navigator” was also there, but it wasn’t.  There were many more, but I thought two would be enough for today. Other positives: good selection, low price, and each comes with a CD of some 80s music.

What’s very disappointing is what they’re doing with the marketing. I’m not a marketing guru by any means, but it’s what I do for a living (I was actually promoted earlier this week, but that’s work life, so I didn’t blah-blah all about it here - but I must be doing something right). Back to my analysis of their marketing efforts.

The packaging is kind of lame and 80s - and that’s actually fine by me; I get it. They want to tie them together as a series, so each DVD has a similar design treatment framing the actual movie art, as seen below:

If they’re actually supposed to be related to the “I Love the 80s” show (which is what the overly helpful Target clerk said, after practically spitting in excitement over the fact that they included “Friday the 13th”) they should have included a VH1 logo; it would’ve made the artwork seem a bit less cheesy and bit less “some dude designed these to match a pair of swim trunks he owned in 1985.”

Perhaps it’s not actually tied into the show or perhaps Viacom didn’t want to use the VH1 trademark/brand identity in that way. All the movies (at least the ones I could remember and checked on IMDb) are from Paramount (which merged with Viacom not too long ago) so they’re all the same company in the end and I don’t think there would be too much trouble getting that done. Either way, fine - this is just my observation and opinion. I would’ve leveraged that brand and placed the logo somewhere on the package.

In any event, I wanted to look them up and see what other movies were being released in the series, so I went to the website listed on the outside of the DVD case (The80sonDVD.com).

It’s a lame-ass landing page on many accounts. Shot from today, below (I’m HOPING that it will change this week):

Yes, The80sonDVD.com was designed by a 3rd grader using Microsoft FrontPage.

Never mind that it’s July 6th and the awesomeness should’ve started almost a full week ago. Never mind that the site should be about the series, and not just the one DVD. Never mind the retina-searing use of lime green and the lamest headline ever. If you’re going to make the promise of total awesomeness, you’d best deliver on it, my friends.

Lastly, if you click on Matthew Broderick’s youthfully mischievious face, you’re taken to a Facebook page (!!!) where you can become a fan of the movie. That’s it.

Opportunities missed: countless. A simple site with a bit of content would have been a good move; nothing extravagant - say, a list of movies to be included in the series, plot synopses (the usual stuff you’d see on Amazon, etc.) and perhaps some movie trivia.  The wastefulness bothered me enough that I was moved to devote an entire post to it. So there!

Also - that bonus music CD? Four songs, and you get the same CD with every DVD you buy. And I already owned two of the four songs. Boo-hiss.

Still, I’m glad I got these movies. I’m going to watch “The Untouchables” right now for a little Connery/Costner/Pacino fix.

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Objective: Prepare for a trip which will involve “camping” (at a music festival), rock-climbing and walking around a lot in a much warmer climate than I’m used to (the average temperature in late April in the Indio Valley is a high of ~90°F, low of about ~60°F).

Item 1: Comfortable walking shoes.
Method: Shopping.

My 6 year-old Sauconies just aren’t cutting it in the all-day comfort department anymore, but they are seriously the most comfortable just-kicking-around shoes I’ve ever owned. After much research into available color combinations in my size, the pictured sneakers were ordered and will be arriving on Tuesday. That color combination is called Bayou/Black.

Item 2: Single-person tent and lightweight sleeping bag.
Method: Excavation?

I am assured that someone in my family owns both of these already - but that they’re either in the basement or the attic. I have a week and a half to put on my miner’s helmet and gas mask and see what I can find… and if they cannot be found or are found to be in an unacceptable condition, I think I can borrow a tent from a friend at work, and might just have to pony up the ~$40 for a sleeping bag. Perhaps the Columbia Double Whammy Fleece Sleeping Bag and Pillow.

Item 3: TSA-approved luggage lock
Method: Damn, a trip to Target.

My big “trans-Atlantic” suitcase is equipped with a TSA-approved lock. But the suitcase I’m taking to California is not quite as fancy or huge or heavy, so I’ll have to buy a lock. I don’t want to find the contents of my suitcase strewn about the luggage carriage because they decided to randomly inspect MY suitcase and then just zipped it up halfway (it’s happened to more than a few people I know). Chances are that if there’s a lock, it will be second nature (while running through their robot-like procedures) to replace it after closing the suitcase.

There’s more (shorts! a hat!) but I’ll deal with those later.

Today is my brother’s 29th birthday. I’ve already welcomed him to Old. There will be family dinner tonight. There may be blood (or just verbal aggression). I should do some mental preparation - maybe even go running so I’m feeling relaxed before we embark upon the excitement of the evening.

So here’s the dilemma: I’m not a religious person, but the holiday season is pretty secularized at this point, so it has become a time to wish your friends and co-workers good things for the new year (and not related to the birthday of baby Jesus), as well as a time to drop a line to people you think about but don’t get to see very often (or at all) and let them know you still care (or make them feel guilty or make yourself feel like a better person in fractured cases).

It’s difficult to find cards that convey the care without much of the holiday message. You’re usually stuck with ridiculously gimmicky cards (like the Festivus card I found yesterday) or something so generic, it’s devoid of personality. I managed to find two cards that did the trick for me:

The first I found at Barnes and Noble; the second at Target. The second is a bit harder to read, but it simply says, “snow is glistening.” I dig the rounded corners.

Now all I have to do is draw up my list and see if I have addresses for the peeps on the list. This strikes me as a perfect Sunday afternoon project.