Pope Benedict is in Warsaw today… visiting the Polish peeps and trying to prove that he can be as good a pope as the beloved John Paul 2. Really - it’s the only thing on TV and in the papers. I was tempted to buy a “pope flag” (the Vatican national flag) on the street yesterday since they were selling them… but I refrained.

Now I might regret that since they probably won’t be available tomorrow. I’m stuck home at my cousin’s house (in the suburbs of Warsaw .) This isn’t a bad thing since he and his wife have a beautiful home in a reall beautiful neighborhood. This neighborhood/town is called Milanowek - my understanding of Polish would lead me to believe that this is in fact a diminutive name for Milan… but I doubt that’s the case. Either way, this use to be a summer resort/villa community for the wealthy Warsaw-dwellers. Once mass-transit and whatnot got all popular, it became a nice upscale suburb… and it’s really gorgeous. I will try to post pictures of some of the houses when I get back and can hook up my digital camera. They’re small, but really picturesque - European.

Why am I stuck home? I’m sick. I don’t know if it was airplane food or what. We got off the plane and I was just really really tired, so when my cousin’s wife picked us up from the airport and took us to her office (she’s a muckity muck at the Polish Press Agency - kind of like the Associated Press back in the States) I took her up on an offer of some tea.

My father and sister and I then walked around Warsaw a little and stopped at a cute restaurant called “Pierogarnia.” It’s a pierogi restaurant. Cute and tasty. But I could barely finish my order of potato and cheese pierogi and looking at my father’s dessert blintz started making me feel icky. We took a train to my cousin’s house (since he was flying in from Helsinki and his wife would be picking him up from the airport) and the moment my sister and I walked in the house, we went straight to the couches in the living room, each took one, and fell asleep.

I awoke about 2 hours later, shivering and in pain. I asked my father to find some blankets for me and he did… I was covered in my coat and about 4 layers of blankets and still freezing. I realized that I needed to throw up and went to the bathroom and did so. I felt a little better after that, as often happens, but still not 100%. My cousin and his wife got back and we did the greeting thing and they put together a light late supper of fresh bread, coldcuts, vegetables, and wine. I had some bread with butter and some chamomile tea… that was all I could handle.

Then I slept until about 9:30 this morning. When I woke up, my neck and back and stomach and sides were sore, and I felt extremely tired and weak. I had a small but civil argument with my father about not feeling well enough to walk around Warsaw today and he and my sister went without me. I’ve spent the time since then (it’s 3:36pm here) going to the bathroom every 15 minutes with a nice case of Montezuma’s revenge, and dozing on the couch since it’s close to the bathroom. I’ve had some tea and a banana and toast… and still have no appetite.

In short, I feel like crap.

But I am glad I’m taking today “off” so to speak, since this will not be an option in Tunisia, especially when we take a 2-day trip into the Sahara. I’ve been advised by my cousin’s wife to bring SPF 60 (yes, they have it here) and use that for the first couple of days, then bring it down to a 45 and then a 30 to get a nice tan, but not third degree burns all over my body. The temperature in Tunisia right now is something like 105 degrees. We leave for Tunisia tomorrow.

I get back to Poland on June 2 and only have 3 days to spend with my family in Lodz before I fly back to the US. I thought we were spending less time in Tunisia and more time in Poland, but so be it. I’ll spend that whole time with my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins there… and maybe go shopping with my cousin and sister since that way I can get souvenirs and spend time with family.

This headache will not quit. I think I have some Motrin in my suitcase… so I’m going to take a few.

Chances are I will NOT have internet access in Tunisia, but I will perhaps have a chance to report back when I return to Warsaw on June 2.

I’m not here.
I’m in Tunisia or Poland.
Pictures and stories coming soon.

We leave for the airport in 90 minutes or so. I’m all packed up and pissed off that the travel blow-dryer is broken. Oh, well. I won’t be stylish. I’m also extremely stressed right now since EVERYONE is on my back… I just want them all to shut up, drive to the airport in silence, and have the three of us get on the plane in continued silence. Then I want to sleep the whole time and wake up when the plane lands. I have sleeping pills for this precise purpose if the need arises.

Back to being stressed: I absolutely feel like I’m going to vomit. I’m just so queasy and dizzy and icky. Not getting sick - it’s a different feeling. I know this one, and it’s definitely stress. I couldn’t even eat dinner… well, for two reasons.

Reason #1: Stress makes my stomach feel like it’s the size of a ping-pong ball and I have no appetite whatsoever. I choked down some raisin bran.

Reason #2: Of all the things my mother could have prepared for dinner tonight, she made a dinner composed entirely of foods that I cannot abide - grilled chicken thighs (I’m a white-meat only girl… and NO SKIN), SCALLOP stir fry (scallops are a huge no - the smell, the texture, the taste - UGH), and a Polish dish called “mizeria” which is sliced cucumbers with sour cream and dill. I hate cucumbers, I dislike sour cream and I like dill - but not in combination with those other two items. So… nothing for me to eat at the table for our last pre-departure dinner. My mother got angry, but I hadn’t said a word. I just got myself cereal and sat and ate with everyone else. I didn’t complain… nothing. Sigh.

In all likelihood, I’ll be able to complete a rant entry or two when I get back to Poland from Tunisia. My family there is relatively wired and I can probably pop online fairly easily.

I haven’t seen my family there since August 2001, so I wouldn’t count on me getting online to rant during the precious hours I have with family.

Last few things to pack - chewing gum for ear-popping help and my iPod which is currently charging. I’m going to get on iTunes right now and make sure I have the latest podcasts with me… perhaps providing me with a few hours of listening pleasure.

Until June…

I completely overslept this morning and missed the train to Washington DC at 7 am. It serves me right for thinking I could wake up at 5 in the morning with no problem.

I called my boss’s boss (with whom I was supposed to rendezvous at the convention center) and left her a voicemail on her cell letting her know what happened, and apologizing profusely. I probably sounded totally ridiculous since I called her literally 30 seconds after I woke up and realized how late it was… I was babbling.

UGH. I don’t look forward to going to work tomorrow as a result - because I will feel even more sheepish and embarrassed. But I have to get it over and done with, apologize and be done with it. I can’t grovel because that’s not professional, but I also can’t just brush it off because that’s even MORE unprofessional. I do feel badly about it because I would’ve liked to have gone and checked out our company’s exhibit space, as well as the competition, and I would’ve especially loved to snag bunches of free galleys and ARCs from the different authors and publishers. Grrr.

As I’ve stated many times before - though perhaps never in the rants - some days are just a festival of suck.

According to Sunday night custom, the bulk of my family is downstairs watching “The Sopranos.” However, tonight is different because my sister also has about 15 friends over for an informal birthday party gathering since her 22nd birthday is tomorrow. So there’s cursing and screaming from Tony Soprano and co., and then laughter and hilarity from my little sister’s gaggle of guests. I won’t be able to fall asleep for a while tonight since everyone got here around 8… and I’m sure they’ll be here until midnight or so. Whatever. She graduated yesterday and her birthday is tomorrow… she should have some fun.

I’m going to play a video game for a bit and then perhaps find some earplugs and hit the hay.

Only two more days until I fly off to Poland and Tunisia. I’ve been re-reading the Rough Guide to Tunisia and trying to formulate a brief itinerary. I would love to travel down to the Sahara and check out the town where Star Wars was filmed, and I would also love to see some of the great museums… but I don’t know if my father will be up for it. If it was a country where I knew the language a little better, I would have no qualms whatsoever about striking out on my own since I’d be able to communicate effectively and stay safe, but the guide warns against female travelers going it alone since men in Tunisia have a certain view of Western females: that they are women of loose morals. What we consider to be polite and friendly behavior can be misinterpreted as a sexual advance or just permission by virtue of not screaming and yelling. It actually recommends wearing sunglasses when going around town since then you can’t make direct eye contact and send mixed signals.

It would be just my luck to go to Tunisia and send mixed signals when I don’t send ANY signals at home.

So… yeah. I need to do some laundry tomorrow since I got a six-pack of athletic socks at Target yesterday, as well as a new pack of underwear. I wanted to make sure that I was fully stocked with those basics before this trip. I don’t have a bathing suit, but that’s ok. I found some shorts and tank tops and I can just wear those while sitting on the beach. I also have a colorful sarong that my parents brought back from Mexico, so I can wrap that around myself on top of the shorts and tank top if I feel underdressed on the beach and don’t want my legs exposed as much.

My suitcase is sitting here - empty. I could trick myself into believing that I’m partially packed by opening it up and putting my sun hat and flip-flops into it. That’s just silly, though. I’ll get it done… I will. Tomorrow. In a hurry. I leave Tuesday night, so there’s still time… but not much.

Can you tell I’m stressing a little? At least I know where the important things are: itinerary, passport, guidebook, phrasebook, medicine, sunglasses, and cash. Which reminds me - I’ll call and refill my script right now.

Great. That’s more suck. Since I need to refill my script ahead of the 30 day supply (since I’ll run out while I’m away) I have to pay for the full cost of it because insurance won’t cover two refills within the 30 day period. UGH. Again - last thing I need. But if there’s one thing I’ll need while I’m away for two weeks with my father, it will be an anti-depressant. It’s worth the cost for some semblance of peace of mind. Or a buffer.

Enough. I think it’s time to consider the process of sleep.

I was going to go to the store after work to look for vacation clothes. When I got home, I realized how tired and unenthusiastic I was about that process, and I also found a coupon online for one of the stores I was going to go to which would save me 20% off any item if I go Sunday or later. So I’ll go Monday night. My friend Krys sent me a link to a coupon for another store for the same percent off, so I can hit up those two on Monday night after work.

Tonight, I am reading and doing laundry and beginning to pack my suitcase. Actually, I am beginning to pack my virtual suitcase since I have to wait until my mother gets home because I am borrowing her new smaller suitcase rather than using the huge Samsonite I’ve used in the past.

The suitcase I really want, though, is this one from Hideo Wakamatsu.

Needless to say, at $345, I’m not going to get it. It’s infinitely cheaper to borrow my mother’s for free.

Anyway - I’m going to go do some menial things like scrub my Saucony sneakers and then put them through the wash so they’re nice and clean in my suitcase. I might write more later… we’ll see how the evening progresses. Perhaps my bed will call to me with its sweet siren song of sleep. Perhaps not.

I had a good day. Work was productive, the drive home wasn’t too stressful… had dinner with my friend… then I went to the store to find some shorts and tank tops for vacation attire.

NOTHING fit correctly. I just felt disgusted with myself… and it’s not me, really. It’s one thing to be zaftig and heavier than I’d like to be; it’s another thing when even the clothing in my size is just an expanded version of the clothes made for size 2 chicks. That is to say that they don’t change the overall fit. They just add fabric.

So the pants are cut in the wrong way… they’re loose in the leg and loose in the waist, but tight in the hips… just not good.

It still makes me really sad and upset and angry, though. Whatever. I’ll find something tomorrow or Saturday after the graduation ceremony. I’ll hit up someplace that sells more athletic style clothing; I might find something looser fitting and better suited to my shape right now.

When I have my doctor’s appointment upon my return, I’m going to ask him if there’s any alternative to the medication I’m taking that absolutely does NOT include weight gain as one of the effects. I also need to exercise more regularly and for longer periods of time… I think it’s going to be that sort of rough start where I won’t feel inspired to work out more until I see effects. When I do, I’ll want to do it all the time… but getting there has been really difficult for some reason. Genetics? Medication? I don’t know. Could be both. I’m 28 now, not 23. There’s a difference there, too.

Despite the fact that I still look 14.

My sister is on her way home from a senior class event at her college and we’re going to work on creating her graduation party invitation and list of invitees… something we need to do before we leave the country. And I have to write all the addresses I’ll be needing for sending postcards into my little address book. Details, details. But important ones.

Tonight I got a sun-hat, some pants, a zip-up hoodie and some non-plastic flip-flops for my vacation. I’m probably going to go to somewhere like Old Navy or Target tomorrow to buy several sleeveless t-shirts/tank tops and perhaps even a pair of shorts if I can find ones that look acceptable.

I’m still mildly “aaaahhh!” over the amount of stuff I have yet to acquire and pack… sunscreen… the rest of my clothing… and I have to find things like my sunglasses, toiletry bag, pill box, etc.

The main thing that makes this all the more stressful is that I can’t use the weekend for anything. I have my sister’s college graduation on Saturday morning at 11 - and that promises to go on for several hours - and then we’re going out to dinner.

I’ll have a few hours free later in the evening, but I’ll need to get to sleep early since I have to be at the train station by 7:00 on Sunday morning to catch a 7:30 train down to Washington DC to attend BEA (Book Expo America) for work. I’ll get there at about 10:20, taxi over to the convention center, and then hang out at my company’s booth, walk the floor and see what the rest of the industry is doing, and then get back to the train station for my 7:20 train back home. I’ll get home around 10:30 at night and then go to work on Monday… after work we’ll celebrate my sister’s birthday (since that’s when it is) and then Tuesday I have work and my flight leaves at 11 that night.

WHEW. I really need to get things done tomorrow, Thursday and Friday night since I won’t have time otherwise. It’s CRAZY.

Right now, though, the focus is on sleep. I am actually tired from all the running around. I got off the train at 7 tonight, ate some cereal, drove to the store with my mom, walked around, drove home, stopped at the supermarket and got home at 10:15. It’s now 45 minutes later and I’m only partially into my whole “unwinding for the evening” process.

Too bad the rain isn’t falling anymore. I could use it tonight to help me sleep… it was so nice last night and this morning that I could’ve slept all day.

OK. Tomorrow marks one week to my departure.
I need to get some clothes. And the hat and the sandals.
Tonight was a wash for shopping since I stayed late at work.

Argh.

But I did order a few books from Amazon for trip reading. It will be a difficult temptation and a struggle to NOT read them before I leave, but I think I can handle it. I’ll just keep re-reading things I’ve already read. Including my French and Arabic phrasebooks and the Tunisia guide.

It’s almost 10:00 and there is a gentle rain falling, so I should be able to fall asleep fairly easily. Here’s hoping.

I have recently come to enjoy Sunday nights a great deal more since that’s the night that the rest of my family gathers ’round the Unnecessarily Large TV to watch “The Sopranos.” I get to spend that time doing my laundry (since no one else is doing it while watching the show), watching a movie or reading, and basically enjoying the silence…

I’m browsing on Amazon to see if any of the books I’ve been wanting for a while have been released in paperback. I need to get a few for my vacation. This is where being a fast reader is really a pain because I can get through an entire book on the plane. During a 2-week vacation - when I don’t have tons and tons of sightseeing planned - I can easily get through 4 or 5 books, and then another on the plane ride home. Last time I was in Poland (for 2 weeks), I brought along the omnibus edition of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, The Lexus and the Olive Tree and a few novels. I got them all finished and ended up buying some books in Polish to have additional reading material.

Truth be told, my command of the Polish language allows me to read magazines and newspapers with ease, but novels and fiction are a little more difficult for me since the style of language is more formal and more “stylized” than the spoken form. Thus, I don’t enjoy it as much when I’m vacationing.

So… I need to find some books to bring along, and they have to be in paperback, and they have to be long-ish so I don’t have to bring too many. Maybe I could tackle something like War and Peace, but I know I wouldn’t enjoy it all that much. Geez. What to read???

Jasper Fforde - one of my favorite “light” authors - has a new novel, but it’s only out in hardcover right now. Grrr. No hardcovers. I need to pack light. I still need to get some lightweight pants for the trip, as well as a hat. I found both at Century 21 and will acquire them on my return trip there. The hat was nice and easily packable, and only $15. There were many linen drawstring pants and things of that sort for about $20 a pop. I also need a new pair of sandals that are comfortable for long periods of walking. The ones I have now begin to dig into places on my foot if I wear them for 8 hours on a hot, humid day. I don’t want blisters. Nope. I will also bring sneakers, but sandals are a must.

There’s much to do. I leave next Tuesday night. I don’t anticipate having web access easily (whether for lack of access or time), but if I can access things, I’ll drop in and leave a note. There’s time yet… for now, I think I’ll make a list. Lists always make me feel nice and organized.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my friend Theresa. We met up at 10:30 in the morning at Century 21 in Morristown where I found the purse of my dreams.

I’ve been wanting a Furla handbag since 2001, when I graduated college and wanted to get one as a graduation gift for myself and as a little reward for getting my after-college job the week of my final exams. I used to keep a black and white printout of the purse on the corkboard in my office as a little inspiration.

At the “better handbags” counter at Century 21, I found it. A lime green leather Furla handbag. Retail price: $450. Century 21 price: $159.99. I didn’t have the money for it with me, nor do I currently have a credit card. I figured I’d just hit up the bank on Monday and come after work to buy it. I was showing Theresa the purse and saying I’d come back for it later. And she said, “OR I could buy it for you and you can pay me back.” I agreed and said, “OK - well, we can look around for a bit.”

At this point she brought me to my senses by saying, “What if someone else comes along and buys it?” I told her she was smart and we asked the clerk to help us. They paged someone to “better handbags” and Theresa bought me the bag. I wrote her a check (since my direct deposit goes in at midnight tonight) and I have the bag. Yay!!!! It matches perfectly with my spring jacket:

A close up of the fabric/print of my spring jacket:

Today I made a nice dinner for my mom for Mother’s Day, and helped my sister make a tasty dessert. I am totally exhausted now - partially from the cooking and cleaning and preparation, but mostly from the weather. It’s overcast and heavy-feeling again. My head feels like a big balloon.

I can’t go to sleep yet, though I feel incredibly sleepy. I had some tea and I think I’m going to sit down and read until 9:00 or so, then get to sleep early. I have to go to the bank in the morning anyway, so getting to sleep early would be a good idea.