I went to Target today looking for some shorts and “The Untouchables” on DVD. I succeeded on both counts, and even found an extra pair of shorts, an extra DVD and some new mascara to try. Anyway, back to my story.

Target is currently running a promotion of DVDs tied in to VH1’s “I Love the 80s” for $7.50 each. The wall display included seminal 80s movies like “Airplane!”, “Pretty in Pink”, “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”, “Better Off Dead”, “Crocodile Dundee”, and the two I purchased: “The Untouchables” and “The Explorers.” I’d have squealed with joy if “Flight of the Navigator” was also there, but it wasn’t.  There were many more, but I thought two would be enough for today. Other positives: good selection, low price, and each comes with a CD of some 80s music.

What’s very disappointing is what they’re doing with the marketing. I’m not a marketing guru by any means, but it’s what I do for a living (I was actually promoted earlier this week, but that’s work life, so I didn’t blah-blah all about it here - but I must be doing something right). Back to my analysis of their marketing efforts.

The packaging is kind of lame and 80s - and that’s actually fine by me; I get it. They want to tie them together as a series, so each DVD has a similar design treatment framing the actual movie art, as seen below:

If they’re actually supposed to be related to the “I Love the 80s” show (which is what the overly helpful Target clerk said, after practically spitting in excitement over the fact that they included “Friday the 13th”) they should have included a VH1 logo; it would’ve made the artwork seem a bit less cheesy and bit less “some dude designed these to match a pair of swim trunks he owned in 1985.”

Perhaps it’s not actually tied into the show or perhaps Viacom didn’t want to use the VH1 trademark/brand identity in that way. All the movies (at least the ones I could remember and checked on IMDb) are from Paramount (which merged with Viacom not too long ago) so they’re all the same company in the end and I don’t think there would be too much trouble getting that done. Either way, fine - this is just my observation and opinion. I would’ve leveraged that brand and placed the logo somewhere on the package.

In any event, I wanted to look them up and see what other movies were being released in the series, so I went to the website listed on the outside of the DVD case (The80sonDVD.com).

It’s a lame-ass landing page on many accounts. Shot from today, below (I’m HOPING that it will change this week):

Yes, The80sonDVD.com was designed by a 3rd grader using Microsoft FrontPage.

Never mind that it’s July 6th and the awesomeness should’ve started almost a full week ago. Never mind that the site should be about the series, and not just the one DVD. Never mind the retina-searing use of lime green and the lamest headline ever. If you’re going to make the promise of total awesomeness, you’d best deliver on it, my friends.

Lastly, if you click on Matthew Broderick’s youthfully mischievious face, you’re taken to a Facebook page (!!!) where you can become a fan of the movie. That’s it.

Opportunities missed: countless. A simple site with a bit of content would have been a good move; nothing extravagant - say, a list of movies to be included in the series, plot synopses (the usual stuff you’d see on Amazon, etc.) and perhaps some movie trivia.  The wastefulness bothered me enough that I was moved to devote an entire post to it. So there!

Also - that bonus music CD? Four songs, and you get the same CD with every DVD you buy. And I already owned two of the four songs. Boo-hiss.

Still, I’m glad I got these movies. I’m going to watch “The Untouchables” right now for a little Connery/Costner/Pacino fix.

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I’m putting together a list of books I plan on buying so that I don’t end up buying three previously unplanned books next time I go to the bookstore. This list is being placed in my new Moleskine notebook (softcover this time) since that way I know I’ll have it with me.

Some would say, “Eva, you’re not a technophobe or Luddite. Why don’t you just save them as a memo in your cell phone?” You know, I could do that. But I like writing things down in my notebook. I like being able to flip it right open and know what I’m looking for instead of navigating through the phone menus and whatnot.

So far on the list:

• Buying In: The Secret Dialogue Between What We Buy and Who We Are by Rob Walker
• The Yiddish Policeman’s Union by Michael Chabon
• New Moon or Twilight by Stephenie Meyer (this series of vampire novels is HUGE young adult hits. Movie coming soon. I need to read one and see if they live up to the hype)
• The Road by Cormac McCarthy - NOT THE OPRAH’S BOOK CLUB EDITION. Seriously. I might end up ordering the British version through abebooks or alibris if I can’t locate an untainted copy.
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz (paperback 9/2/08)

I’ve also got a few good recommendations which I’m writing down (The Outcast by Sadies Jones and A Summer of Hummingbirds by Christopher Benfey), but I’ll wait for the paperbacks on those. I prefer trade paperbacks. It’s a thing (charming quirk?) I have.

While the point of this list is to prevent me from buying far more books than I need, I want to be easy on myself. The whole magic of bookstores (which doesn’t exist in the online environment) is the chance you’ll find that unplanned purchase… the serendipitous discovery that introduces you to an author you didn’t know before or helps you find your new favorite book. That has only ever really happened for me when I’ve let myself get lost wandering the fiction section (though it’s happened in others, too).

The point is that seeing an interesting title or cover will prompt me to pick the book up off the shelf or table - and that’s something that just won’t happen on Amazon. I won’t spend an hour looking at EVERY SINGLE BOOK on the site. I WILL, however, spend an hour looking at EVERY SINGLE BOOK on a bookstore shelf written by someone with a last name beginning with M, N, O or P (for example).

And that’s how I end up with far too many books. I need to start going through my collection and unloading the retired books (I dare not call them unwanted) from my library and getting them out into the world where they might provide happiness to others. I won’t do the BookCrossing thing yet, either since some might be OK for a library and with a large quantity, bookcrossing might be difficult to do. I’d like to just fill up a shopping bag and bring them somewhere and say, “HERE. FREE!”

But I’ve had several friends request that I provide them with a list of what I’m planning on chucking since they might want first dibs. It’s nice to know that they trust my taste even that much. It’s a bit dicey with reading since I’ll read almost anything (almost) and that usually means that my more genre-minded friends will end up disappointed, as will my more literary-minded friends.

YES, I enjoyed both The Satanic Verses and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban equally. Strange, but true. I recognize them both for what they are and enjoy them accordingly. Rushdie for his use of language and imagery and humor… Rowling for the enthralling world she created and her sense of the fantastical.

This is turning into a bit of a soapbox piece. I think I’m just hungry - and a hungry Polak is an angry Polak, as my mother oft quips at family dinners. I went walking after work with my friend/co-worker and I’m now ravenous. But I can only think about soup and toast since my stomach is a little uncertain.

On Memorial Day, I opted to spend the day with friends. We went to the pool, did a little swimming (well, what passed for swimming since I had my contact lenses in and no goggles) in very chilly water that eventually became comfortable and then quickly turned bone-chilling again, and enjoyed a selection of the worst women’s magazines the media have to offer.

Magazines with tantalizing cover stories including:

• Candid Cameron on Sex, Dating and the Perfect Tan
• At Home With Miley Cyrus
• The Hottest Things to Do to a Man (in 60 Seconds or Less)
• 4 Things All Guys Crave Hearing
• Dragging Ass Lately? New Energy-Boosting Advice
• 9 Things That Make a Guy Worship You in Bed (and out!)
• His Ex Didn’t Do It: The Girlfriend Habit That’ll Deepen His Love
• 5 Signs a Guy is Capable of Rape
• OB-GYNs Tell You What’s Normal (and not) Down There

The last three are my favorites.

“His Ex Didn’t Do It” plays upon every insecure female who spends time asking her “guy” if his last girlfriend was prettier, thinner, sexier, [insert other superlatives here] than she is. It presents that desperate woman with a gift - the magical habit that she can adopt to make her better than her predecessor! Deepen his love! The magazine knows for a fact that the other chick didn’t do it.

“5 Signs a Guy is Capable of Rape” - beyond the (subtle?) ridiculousness of having this on the same cover as “4 things all guys crave hearing”, “dragging ass lately?” and “hottest things to do to a man” this article is a total misnomer/misleading title once you get inside the magazine. Then the article is suddenly, “How a Date Rapist Works”… and segues into “Five Traits of a Rapist”… which doesn’t even make sense. One of them isn’t even a trait (#2):

1. he carefully plans his attacks
2. he is likely a serial rapist
3. he holds stereotypical views of men and women
4. he uses alcohol and/or drugs as a tool
5. he uses psychological dominance more than brute force.

Ah, well. They warn against guys who try to take a girl “somewhere quiet” to talk, who hold their palms down when they gesture with their hands, etc. Basically, as my friend Theresa put it, “just don’t meet guys at bars.”

Last, but not least, “OB-GYNs tell you…” - down there. DOWN THERE? Are they actually using the euphemism “down there” on the cover of COSMOPOLITAN? Didn’t Tyra Banks boldly go where no woman had gone before and introduce us to a mystical world of more poetic and creative terms for a woman’s genitalia - like vajayjay? Really, anything is better than “down there” on the cover of Cosmo. It reminds me of the book my mother gave me when I was in third grade to teach me all about growing up.

Next time, I’ll be quoting from Steven Pinker. That’s who I’m reading right now. And not only to legitimatize myself.

We’ve got some snow here in Northern NJ tonight. It’s not a blizzard, but the heaviest snow and the changeover to sleet occurred after rush hour, so the crews haven’t exactly been out there plowing, salting or sanding anything. My drive down to Morristown at 5pm to drop off/pick up some stuff from my friends’ house wasn’t bad.

The drive back at 8pm? Horrific. The large four-lane interstates that comprise most of the drive there and back - I-287 and I-80, namely - were impossible to see. All the drivers on the road (including me) were making up their own lanes, using blinkers when moving any direction - just in case - and generally driving about 15 or 20 miles below the speed limit.

Of course, there were some people on the road who just LIVE for this kind of weather. Why? Because of damage to their brains caused by snow (I’m grasping here) OR because it gives them a chance to show off the only practical reason they have for driving an SUV as a single person commuter car - they’re heavy, they have 4-wheel or all wheel drive and the tires are usually massive and good for traction in wet and icy conditions. I mean, you could also drive any Subaru, a variety of Volvo models with available all-wheel drive (S40, S60) and many other cars, I’m sure… but that’s another matter.

So, in order to show-off the only thing worth showing off (and send a little F-you to the other drivers), the bastards opted to tailgate and high-beam (with their blinding xenon or halogen headlights) the cars that were staying to the right side of the road (the slow side), just trying to drive in the tire tracks of previous cars to maintain some traction. What purpose does this serve? Well, other than making an already nerve-wracking driving experience even more so. Um… let me think. Ok. I have the answer.

None. None whatsoever. No one is going to speed up in the slow lane when there’s no visibility and a risk of losing control of the vehicle. No amount of high-beam action or tailgating will make that happen - just switch lanes already. And, dear obnoxious SUV drivers (just the obnoxious ones - I know there are many non-obnoxious SUV drivers who need the car for legitimate sport utility purposes) don’t make it a point to pass on the left with only a foot or so of room between you and the other cars. You know you won’t lose control, Mr. SUV driver, but the little car to your right? They might lose control; while you’ll emerge mostly unscathed, they probably won’t.

I understand this isn’t really your concern - as much as the environment isn’t either - but think about your car insurance, if nothing else. If you’re too wealthy to care, then I don’t know - worry about your eternal salvation? If that doesn’t mean anything to you either, think about the inconvenience of having to take the car into the shop for body work or other such repair post minor accident. You might have to get a loaner. And those are usually sedans. That would suck, wouldn’t it?

My car does pretty well in crappy conditions - the standard tires on a Mazda3 aren’t bad at all (I have it on good authority that they provide better stock tires than Acura does on the TSX - that good authority comes from siblings who both got TSX’s and almost immediately replaced the tires because they were shit). I can throw the car into “fake” manual mode so I can actively drive in a lower gear when there’s a downgrade or crazy turn. But I was still taking it slow - and I have quite a bit of a lead foot otherwise, so that’s saying something.

Sigh. I’m going to enjoy some of the trail mix I made yesterday but forgot to bring to work as snack food. It’s a combination of mini chocolate chips, pecans and Craisins. It would be healthier if the chips were dark chocolate and the nuts were walnuts, but whatever. Next time. This is super tasty.

I awoke this morning at 3:30 with a sharp pain in my stomach and nausea that was only made worse by the fact I’d just fallen asleep an hour or two earlier. I don’t know if I had food poisoning (everything I ate on Sunday was homemade and no one else who ate it got sick) or if the ennui and malaise I felt all day yesterday was actually a 12- or 24-hour stomach bug. I got back to sleep around 4:30 and when I got up again at 7, I was just fine and dandy — just a wee bit tired.

When I got home at 6:30, I decided to take a nap before going running because I was feeling pretty drained. A nap was taken (to the strains of Barber’s Adagio for Strings) and then I got a call from a friend asking if I was busy and if I could run to the store for him because he and his roommate had both gotten seriously sick within the span of a few hours last night - fevers, aches, chills, runny noses, the whole nine. It seemed to me (and I told him) that it might be the flu that was going around my workplace a few weeks ago; I heard it dubbed the Norwalk strain, easily recognized by the ridiculously rapid onset (you go from perfectly fine to “ready to collapse” in 2-4 hours) and severe symptoms (head congestion, sore throat/cough, fever of 102/103°F, body aches, extreme fatigue). The good news is that everyone I know at work who had it (and there were several peeps) noted that it ran its course quickly - within 2-3 days, at which point you suddenly feel fine again, if a little tired and hungry.

So I went to the supermarket and got them Gatorade (hydration!), about 10 cans of soup (including chicken with alphabet noodles and two cartons of organic roasted red pepper soup because it’s sooo tasty and a nice change from chicken), French bread pizzas (comfort food!) and tissues (with lotion, of course).

In some strange way, I’ve managed to avoid illness despite these circulating virii ans bacteria, and even despite my early morning ick. I can’t really remember the last time I was sick with a legitimate illness or even had a fever. I have bad seasonal allergies, but those are just annoying, not contagious and may keep me down for a day or two because the decongestants make me so drowsy. I had a horrifically bad reaction to a new medication my doctor wanted me to try back in August (clearly, I am not taking it), but that wasn’t an illness either. It did, however, result in 16 solid hours of sleep, an inability to hold down food and two sick days while I regained my strength).

Some may be horrified that I’m writing this without knocking on a whole cord of wood, but I’m not superstitious. That sort of thing goes hand-in-hand with a belief in other things that I don’t believe in (fate, destiny, luck, ghosts, etc.) I mean, if I believe in bad luck coming from walking under a ladder or “jinxing” myself, but am saying I’m an atheist because of logic, science and reason, I’m truly a bigger fool than most people think I am.

And for saying this, my parents would probably say that God will punish me and that I’ll get sick soon - just wait and see. I’ve heard it many, many times. For example, when I was younger if I talked back to my mother and then accidentally spilled milk or dropped a fork a few hours later, she would tell me that was God punishing me for talking back to her earlier. Or if we fought, she would tell me that God would pay me back later. Yup. If that had been before my job loss, car accident and first severe depressive episodes/breakdowns, I might’ve bought into it. But I was a good, happy person before those things happened, so it wasn’t payback from Angry God. Sorry.

In case you’re wondering, the Polish phrase is “Bozia cie skarała” (pronounced, “Boh-zhya chye skarawa” - I’m not doing the international phonetic alphabet here… this is close enough.)

I already cast my vote in the primary this morning, but my brother just sent me a link to this video. It just reinforced my confidence in my decision. It’s Lawrence Lessig’s 2 cents (in 20 minutes) on why he’s supporting Barack Obama:

Warning: borderline pop-psych BS on the horizon.

I was just thinking back to a time when a friend of mine was completely soured on relationships and was basically bashing all forms of human interaction… and I reminded this friend that “friendship is also a relationship.” While you aren’t physically/sexually involved (in most cases, anyway), you are connected emotionally and mentally.

As a single gal who’s had her share of rough times over the last 6 years (over a year of unemployment due to a company going bankrupt, a car accident while unemployed and uninsured, a crap job taken out of desperation that sucked the life out of me for almost two years, having to move back into my parents’ house, the realization that a lifetime “mood” was actually a condition, not caring enough about myself during that whole time to really focus on my health and the whole self-defeating cycle that comes with depression and rapid weight gain, surgery to remove bones from my hand due to a freak medical condition, etc.) I have realized just how important my friends are. My family support structure isn’t particularly strong or healthy, so my friends are my chosen family (to adapt a cliché).

There have also been toxic friendships. Surprisingly, in the midst of all my craziness, I had some of my most lucid realizations about these friendships: maybe it was because of the way they reacted to my craziness (or didn’t), or because I realized that I was the only one making the effort to maintain the friendship, or because I finally figured out that my unconditional love for my friends (there’s my secret) was being abused. Ending friendships with these individuals (whether by letting them fade away or actually having a straight-up “come to Jesus” confrontation) was incredibly freeing, if difficult and sad.

However, I’ve also been a far-from-perfect friend. In my darkest times, I did a bang-up job of chasing away my friends, whether or not I was trying to. When I felt hopeless and depressed, I chose not to talk to anyone and decided that my friends were better off not having to deal with me. When friends reached out to me, trying to give me reasons to care, to get me away from the crying and beating myself up over minutiae, I made up excuses or didn’t answer the phone or just got so anxious about dealing with people while “in my state” that I literally worried myself sick (nausea, neck pains - the human body really is incredible). In that way, I did chase away several people who cared about me. It didn’t bother me then because I was convinced that they were better off not knowing me.

Thankfully, there were people who were willing and able to deal with me—who put up with my crazy excuses or who called me out on my twisted thinking and forced me to deal with the world. A few of them have told me - now that I’m in a much better mental state - that during that time, they felt absolutely helpless and had no idea how to make me feel better. That’s all they wanted, but I wasn’t making it possible. There was no advice they could give or cheering up they could do (and they certainly tried). I get the feeling that I almost chased some of them away, too.

And today, I read this post on Lifehack.org entitled, “How to Break Up With a Friend” (which should perhaps be titled, “How NOT to Break Up With a Friend” since it offers advice meant to mend, not end, a friendship… with a few exceptions) which got me thinking about all of this again. While it isn’t the most magnificently written piece ever (and I’m really not one to talk, I know) it is a decent summary. There are three things the author names as the “bare bones” of any friendship:

• Communication. When was the last time you actually called up your friend just to ask them how they’ve been or what’s new with them? You may find that you have unintentionally have been calling them up only to ask for something or to just talk about yourself.
• Activity. When was the last time you made the effort to set up a time and place to do something with your friend? Have you been consistently extending invitations to hang out? Carving out time for your friendships are extremely important. Quality time together deepens your bond.
• Support. When was the last time you offered to be there for your friend without them asking you? Or when was the last time you returned a favor they did for you without them asking? Sometimes, people feel taken advantage of when one is giving and the other is always taking. People don’t always realize what is going on so don’t beat yourself up. Make amends and work toward seeing situations objectively rather than subjectively.

I concur. These were all important factors in my decision to end a friendship. There was a friend who only called when she needed someone to listen to her complain and cry about her relationship or “stupid” things she’d done; if I needed any support in return, I got the “oh, cheer up (so I can hang up)” or “snap out of it” response, or anger (really) at not being able to work things out on my own. I tried to make plans, but they were always met with a “maybe” that (I learned) was code for, “Maybe - if something [fun/better/involving alcohol or sex] doesn’t come along first.” When you’re already depressed, being relinquished to the category of “if there’s nothing better going on” is rather devastating. Gee - proof that you don’t count and that you’re worthless. “Look - you tried to reach out, and see what you got?” In the end, I was spending my time and energy on people who couldn’t be bothered to do the same for me. Toxic (just like the Britney Spears song). Also from the post:

A friendship should, for the most part, bring out the best in you. Friendship is a two-way street. One person cannot uphold a relationship all on their own. That is not a friendship. The dictionary defines a friend as “One attached to another by respect or affection.”

Truth, yo. The friends I have in my life right now bring out the best in me. They remind me that I’m not an awful person defined by the things that have happened to her, or the situations she’s currently in and working hard to fix (even if they’re taking an incredibly long time and seem interminable). They remind me that I can be enjoyable and fun, that I am allowed to be human and imperfect (as much as I hate that reality), that they care whether I’m happy or sad and actively welcome me into their lives.

And who doesn’t like to feel welcome?

Tonight was a reunion of sorts with people from my former workplace - former as in “while I was in college”, circa 1996-2000. I was getting pretty tense and anxious about it; luckily, I had a little help from my friends.

Lesson learned this evening: that memories of the past are just that - memories. And that interacting with elements of the past doesn’t have to become a rehash of that time; rather, it’s a whole new interaction with the person you are today. That’s assuming you have grown and are an older/wiser/different person. Most people do undergo some sort of change over the course of 10 years. Some not as much.

The farther behind I leave the past, the closer I am to forging my own character.- Isabelle Eberhardt

Another lesson: we may all be aware that our self-perceptions are quite different from the way other people perceive us, and that the things we fear people will think of when they remember us will be unpleasant, or just things we’d rather not be associated with (ending with a preposition. “This is the sort of thing up with which I will not put.” Erroneously attributed to Churchill, apparently.)

One thing that brings this into sharp/stark contrast and focus is seeing people you haven’t seen in a long time and how they react to seeing you: with enthusiasm, with surprise, with indifference, with awkwardness, with warmth.

For someone like me (who has a disturbingly pessimistic view of other people’s perceptions of her) it’s a scary prospect; but the reality was not as bad as I imagined it. In some cases - pleasant. In some cases - just weird. But nothing bad. Things passed by without incident.

Events in the past may be roughly divided into those which probably never happened and those which do not matter. - William Ralph Inge
← ♣ →
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. - George Santayana

I remember the past quite vividly; it’s a bit of a curse. Maybe I should’ve pursued the enjoyment of illicit substances at some point in my life so that a few brain cells would be lost, taking memories with them. Alas, I was a studious sort and now I think I’m too old for that to be very dignified - or for it to be a good idea when there are important things to accomplish. But I like to think that I’ve learned, grown and changed in ways that matter but, like Mr. Darcy, “in essentials, I believe, [am] very much what [I] ever was.”

So I can subtract at least one source of anxiety from my list. There are many more, but this one can be filed away someplace other than “tension-inducing situations that I will lose sleep over.” Of course, in true “me” fashion, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop (always) and am thinking about possible crap repercussions, but for tonight, I’ll try to let them go.

Aight. Gaslight arrived from Netflix, and I can’t keep Ingrid Bergman waiting.

So I’ve got some rollover vacation days to use up this month, and today was one of them. As a result of a largely sleepless weekend (petsitting, a noisy downstairs neighbor whom I’ve dubbed “Keith” because of his physical similarity to that member of The Prodigy - pictured left, police involvement, and a 3 a.m. confrontation with Keith that was resolved peacefully) I caught up on my sleep today - by way of sleeping until 11:11.

Thus, the likelihood of getting my car in for an oil change was slim. I called a few places anyway. It seems that I spoke to the same guy no matter where I called; a sleepy young man who (I imagine) looked away from the magazine he was flipping through just long enough to say, “yeah, no one’s even gonna be able to touch it for at least another two hours.”

Harrumph.

Plan B: shopping. There was a need for some work clothing (pants), some socks, shampoo, circular knitting needles, bumble and bumble tonic spray, and the pharmacy. I brought along a totebag to avoid getting 5 or 10 more plastic shopping bags that I absolutely don’t need. This proved far more difficult than I thought possible.

I didn’t bring the totebag into stores with me because that would be suspicious and I’d just be asking for trouble; it’s one thing in a foodstore, but quite another in a clothing or craft store. That wasn’t the problem.

My first stop was for shampoo and b&b spray. “I don’t need a bag, thanks.” Not a problem. The cashier gave me the receipt and sent me on my way. Done and done, in the totebag.

Stop #2: craft store for circular knitting needles. The distracted teenage cashier put them in a bag despite my saying I didn’t need one, but that was more because she was talking to her co-worker. When I reiterated my desire to remain bagless, she took the needles out of the bag and handed them to me with the receipt. Lovely.

Stop #3: pharmacy for the pill. This is well into the realm of TMI, but it’s for a purpose, so bear with me. Some birth control pills come in a lovely little clamshell case; I actually bought a reusable one with a “fun fashion design.” So when I go to the pharmacy and they give me the faded Pepto-Bismol pink clamshell case in addition to the pill refill, I tell them that I don’t need it and specifically ask them not to give it to me. It’s a wasted chunk of non-recyclable plastic. I told the pharmacist today the same thing; she looked at me as if I’d said, “I would like to give you $500 for that tube of lip balm.” Seriously - it made me feel like I might be a little crazy and perhaps not actually speaking the words I thought I was.

She stammered and said, “But it goes with it.”
I said, “Yes, I know - but they don’t come together and I already have one. I really don’t need it.”
Pharmacist: But they go together.
Me: I really don’t need it, though. Just the pills are fine. I already have a case.

She shrugged and told me how much money I’d have to hemorrhage for this particular prescription and while I was getting my card from my wallet, she placed the little “here are the ways this drug could possibly kill you” paper and meds into the paper privacy bag. I also told her I didn’t need a plastic bag, and that elicited an “OK.”

As I walked to the car, I noticed that the bag felt a little heavy for a small ring of tiny birth control pills. Lo and behold, she’d thrown in the stupid plastic clamshell case anyway - apparently while I was distracted getting out my method of payment. That was some mighty great customer service there. Truly.

Stop #4: clothing store #1. I found pants and a shirt. Again, went to the cash register and told the clerk that I did not need a shopping bag. She asked me if I was sure, and I said yes - that I was parked right outside and had enough bags already. “Oh,” said she, and I said, “I don’t think anyone will have a problem as long as I have my receipt on my way out, right?” (Clearly, but it’s the sort of silly obvious comment you sometimes have to make to clarify your point without sounding possibly bitchy.) No problem and I walked out with clothing, paper and no bag.

Stop #5: clothing store #2. Two pairs of pants. I said, “I don’t need a bag.”
[cashier double-take]: You don’t need a bag?”
Me: No thanks. I have so many already, it’s just a waste.
Cashier: Are you sure, hon? You really don’t want a bag?
Me: I’m good. I’ll be fine with just the receipt.
Cashier: The bag will be easier to carry.
Me: It’s fine. I’m parked right outside.
Cashier: OK. If you’re sure.
Me: Yes I am, thanks! (getting a little testy here)

Stop #6: Whole Foods for a box of ginger snaps, salad from the salad bar and a box of chamomile & lavender tea. The cashier asked what kind of bag I wanted. I said, “none.” She nodded in assent, took my money and told me to have a nice day.

That’s totally the way to do it, but I wouldn’t really expect much less from yuppie-hippie central. Trader Joe’s is also really great about this (similar demographic, too, surprise-surprise).

It just goes to show how far we have to go before being less wasteful or somewhat environmentally conscious is understood and not viewed as crazy person behavior. I was telling my like-minded friends about this whole voyage and one suggested, “You should’ve just said ‘I don’t need a bag - I’m a hippie’. That would probably work.” Maybe. But it’s annoying to have to waste breath on any sort of explanation, justification, clarification, etc. for something this simple.

It crosses over into customer service territory. Having been on the other side of the register back in my bookstore days, I know you’re riding on auto-pilot some of the time and shoving things into a bag is simply part of the assembly line process. But the customer service part isn’t hard if you keep a single neuron firing; if someone was only buying a magazine, I’d ask, “Do you even want a bag?” More often than not, they’d pause and say, “Nah, I don’t need one just for this.” Yes, sometimes they’d say, “You’d better give me one - I’ll be going into other stores.” Fair enough - but let the customer make that call.

I’d best get to sleep. There might be pills involved. Waking up at 11 doesn’t bode well for falling asleep at a decent hour tonight without chemical intervention.

This morning’s New York Times contained a piece about the lack of dental care in Kentucky (and some surrounding states). While we may be aware of the statistics about the lack of health care in the US, I think we often sort of subsume that awareness while we’re worrying about our own co-pays, premiums and plans. Some of the anecdotes and statistics in this article are a bit jarring:

About 1 in 10 state residents are missing all their teeth, according to 2004 federal data.

At his private practice, Dr. Smith said that at least once a month he sees a patient who has used Krazy Glue to reattach a broken tooth to the root or to an adjacent tooth… patients who have tried to avoid the cost of a dentist by swishing with rubbing alcohol to deal with a tooth infection or by rubbing crushed aspirin pills on gums to numb pain. Both tactics worsen the situation by burning the gums and creating ulcers, he said.

[...] His teeth crooked and blackened, Justin Baker is the face of another reason for Kentucky’s oral hygiene problems: methamphetamine use. “They just rotted,” Mr. Baker, 16, said about the damage done in less than a year of drug use.

Yes, meth use and lack of knowledge are separate problems, but they’re only perpetuated by the health care system. Medicaid reimbursement to dentists in the state is so low that less than a quarter of them accept it, and the only option available to someone with a severely infected tooth is to have it pulled. Medicaid doesn’t pay for a root canal or dentures. Medicare doesn’t cover dental at all. Why would you go see a dentist if you know he won’t be able to help you because you don’t have the money or insurance, or if your only option even with insurance will be to get your teeth pulled?

“Try finding work when you’re in your 30s or 40s and you’re missing front teeth,” said Jane Stephenson, founder of the New Opportunity School in Berea, Ky., which provides job training to low-income Appalachian women.

I once had a co-worker who was missing several of her front teeth (don’t know how/why). She was going to night classes, etc. trying to improve her skills and get beyond answering phones for the company we worked for. She was quite aware that her appearance was holding her back and wanted to have her teeth fixed. The company had insurance (however crappy, it was better than nothing), but the fear of seeing a dentist after so many years of not caring for her teeth - and the fear that she would not have money to cover her portion of the procedures - was paralyzing. Lots of people have fear of the dentist, but this was something different - there was shame for having ignored that aspect of her own health.

I’d like to think we all do what we can for people who might need our help - whether it’s holding the door open for someone struggling with a stroller or carrying many bags, cooking dinner for a busy friend, donating blood (because it’s always needed), participating in food or clothing drives, simply sending money to an organization that needs it, babysitting for friends/family when they need a night off, or volunteering your time (if that’s what you’ve got more of than money) to help other people in some way.

But what do you do when something like this is the problem? How do we help when the government systems that are supposed to help people who aren’t in the right area to get cushy jobs with full benefits, or who are self-employed and can’t afford the high cost of insurance, are a huge part of the problem? Or when we’re looking at generations of people who have been going about it their own way, however detrimental that is to their health - a legacy of ignorance? Yes, you can provide more money for people working to fix it - like Dr. Smith in the article - but that’s a Band-Aid, isn’t it?