I love makeup and I love heels and clothes and being able to paint my nails a different color every day if I want to without being looked at strangely. I don’t mind that my haircuts cost twice or three times as much as a guy’s - or that I’m expected to shave my legs (I sort of enjoy it and I like how they look). But this whole process of looking for a new gynecologist has got to be the least fun part of being a chick to date in my life - the yearly exam itself is a breeze comparatively.

I’m sitting here scrolling through pages and pages of listings on my health insurance website, looking for a new doctor. Scrolling and scrolling… and checking medical school graduation dates, for one thing. It’s somewhat ageist of me, but I think that I want a doctor who’s graduated from medical school more recently because she’d be less likely to have conservative views about giving me birth control pills just to keep my cycle regular, keep my skin nicer, and prevent the hormonal upheaval that just makes depression that much worse once a month… I’ve had that experience with one doctor before and I don’t want it again.

Then I’m looking to see if the doctor is board certified (because that’s another important indicator) and then to see if they have evening or weekend hours (my work schedule is pretty flexible, but it’s good to have the option) and then, finally, to see where they are. Just because the website says they’re 3.6 miles from my home doesn’t mean they’re easy to get to.

Finally, it’s Google time. I type in the names of the finalists to see what pops up. Have people entered comments on sites like ratemds.com? How recently? What’s the nature of these comments? As with any user-generated content, I have my grains of salt handy. Then I go further - are there other sites where they’re mentioned? Any papers they’ve written? Studies or panels they’ve participated in? If so, this could be good or bad - yay, they’re staying on top of advancements in their field, but does this mean anything about their bedside manner? Are there any blog entries naming them - saying anything good or bad?

After all that, I’m still left pretty much where I started. With a name, a phone number, and just as much patient commentary attesting to the kindness, patience and attentiveness of Dr. Pinkparts as there is saying that Dr. Pinkparts is cold and unfeeling and rushes through exams.

By and large, I’ve had exceptionally good luck with doctors in the past - really and truly - so I don’t know why I’m worrying so much. It’s probably because I’ve heard a few recent horror stories from friends and it’s making me anxious. I just need to chill. Make a few phone calls, check out the vibes, make sure Mercury isn’t in retrograde or whatever hippie bullshit makes things weird, and I’ll be fine.