Well, up until an hour ago, I thought I was going to be going to Poland in March to see my family. Then, an hour ago, my mother told me that she booked tickets for herself and my brother and sister yesterday and that when she called to add me on today, there were no tickets left for that flight. Nevermind the fact that I told her yesterday to go ahead and book the tickets and that I’d find a way to make it work with my schedule since she was harping on and on about having to book them last night to get a good deal.

But, ultimately, she got tickets for everyone else but me.

This whole week, I’ve been feeling like I’m speaking some language that only I understand since every conversation I’ve had with any member of my family has resulted in arguments because either they don’t understand me or they simply don’t listen. If I say “I can’t drop this package off at the UPS store because it’s open from 9 to 4 and I’m at work from 8:30 to after 6; can you ask someone who doesn’t have work during the day to drop it off?” doesn’t that pretty much put the solution RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU? Instead, wait a week, stew over it and then explode at me on Sunday night after the package has been sitting somewhere for a week and scream that it’s my responsibility to mail the package. At which point, I will repeat that I WORK DURING THE WEEK AND AM NOT ABLE TO DROP IT OFF AT THE GODDAMN UPS STORE… and you can deny that this conversation ever happened and continue to insist that I have to do it because (apparently) none of the other people who are home all day or work from home or don’t have work until 11 in the morning can swing by the UPS store to drop off a package.

In the end, Monday was a work holiday but the UPS store was open, so I dropped it off then.

I’m angry. I’m pissed off. I am constantly reprimanded for not talking to or “sharing” enough with my family, but when I do, I might as well not be saying anything since they’re not listening anyway. Whatever words I speak disintegrate into the ether and don’t ever make it into an ear canal or into any comprehensible form. They’re just sounds. I should just stop talking entirely and provide simple “Yes” or “No” responses since they’re far less likely to get confused.