Tomorrow is New Year’s Eve (Day).

Whenever someone asks me what I’m doing for New Year’s, my answer is usually, “I don’t know. Maybe sleeping through it.” I’ve done this only once in my adult life because all my options were pretty unattractive (and not in a dirty way; just in a “not my cup of tea” way).

What pops into my head most often when I think about it is something my mother said to me years and years ago; that whatever you’re doing on New Year’s Eve will be a reflection of the year to come.

I’m not superstitious, but my mother is - and highly so. So this statement of hers just repeats in my head… though I don’t know why.

In recent years, my New Year’s has been spent sitting at home with my family (and siblings’ friends) helping with hosting a small get-together, drinking a gin & tonic and then one small glass of champagne, picking up someone from somewhere since I’m the only sober one when 2am comes around, generally arguing with someone who’s drunk and too far gone to know it, and then going to sleep. So, essentially, my New Year has been another occasion during which I forsake any personal enjoyment for the onus of being responsible for everyone. Why? Because I am a control freak and I like knowing that if anything should happen - good, bad or otherwise - I’d be sober and able to handle things… and take control of the situation. And, in some ways, this is a reflection of how I spend the rest of the year.

Is this a bad thing? Not necessarily. Being responsible isn’t bad. Forsaking personal enjoyment? Not good - may lead to a martyr complex in the future.

In either event, my New Year’s Eve activities aren’t harbingers of doom but, rather, reflections of the past year and a handy “bookmark” in time of where I am and what’s going on.

This year, I’m thinking I might sleep through the big ought-six/ought-seven changeover, not out of disgust at my options, but because I want to take what little growth I’ve experienced this year (in terms of letting things go, not getting caught up in things I can’t control, etc.) and use it to set the tone for the New Year. So, if I spend New Year’s Eve doing crossword puzzles, watching a movie, drinking a gin & tonic or an Earl Grey tea, reading a new book, or making a necklace, it’s all good. I should do something creative and relaxing since that’s been my goal all year.

Monday afternoon, I’m having lunch with my friends Theresa and Kofi, so I have something to look forward to in 2007 already. I have a new car upon which I can afford to make payments. I have a job I love. I’m doing OK healthwise - mentally and physically. I had some surgery, but the occupational therapy is going pretty well. I’ve had some really low moments mentally and emotionally, but I’m working on that, too, and getting (I think) better and better.

Not 100% yet, but I don’t really want to get to 100%.
That’s asking too much.
I’ll take 80%.
That’s better than ¾ OK.