The answer to that question in our family seems to be, “pointless arguments that ruin the day.”

I take some comfort in the fact that mine is not the only family with this particular flavor of dysfunction. I recall that last year, we had a departmental dinner for work at a restaurant where the dishes were served “family style.” My co-worker asked, “Served family style? What does that mean?” to which I replied, “Perhaps it means they serve the food along with a disparaging remark?”

He laughed heartily and reassured me that this is not an isolated experience.

Anyway, there was petty bitchiness all day and I ended up getting lectured about “showing respect” - which I was too angry to respond to then, but I wish I’d said, “Don’t talk to me about respect until I can get through one day with this family WITHOUT someone calling me a bitch.”

If it comes up tomorrow, though, I will. It’s bullshit. I prepared this dinner today and only asked for help with things I really could not do with this weak and aching left hand. I mean, here’s the site of the incision:

It’s still swollen and I have very little range of motion since the tendons and muscles are really tight from the surgery and from being stuck in a cast for a month. The skin on my left forearm is dry and peeling and I keep slathering it in Kiehl’s Ultimate Strength Hand Salve. It’s good stuff.

Anyway, I was so upset after dinner/dessert, I went to bed at 8:30 and then woke up at midnight, did my first bit of holiday shopping online and just now turned on “The Lady from Shanghai” with Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth (trivia: the movie was made towards the end of their marriage . According to trivia on IMDb.com, “they were constantly fighting at the time and (some say as a comeuppance to Hayworth) he made her cut off most of her long, luxurious red hair and dye it bright platinum blonde.”)

Oh, and why does it have to suck to live in the United States sometimes?? Penguin UK is publishing six classics with “pure white, art-quality covers for people to design their own book jackets.” I read about it on BoingBoing.

Maybe I’ll place an order with a UK bookseller. It’s just annoying, though, that I can’t get them here (yet, anyway.)

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