It’s called stress.

Between work (juggling three positions for this past week and the next two) and medical stuff and my usual worries, there is ample reason for me to be stressing.

How do I know that I am stressing? I wake up feeling nauseated and tired, even after 10 hours of sleep (like last night.) I have no appetite and no desire to do anything. I am SUPER-irritable and suffering from logorrhea, which is especially sucky at work.

The past five nights, dinner has been a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats with 1% milk (all that we drink here at home - which is fine since I’m not a fan of milk) and breakfast has been… well, tea and picking at a muffin top from the cafe next door to work. I don’t have the urge or desire to eat anything else. Lunch has been a bit better, but even then it’s not like I’m devouring a ton of food. I just get to the point where I feel faint and physically need to eat, though I have no appetite. Yesterday and the day before, though, I just had a 12 oz. cup of soup each day. Today I had a little more than that. Thankfully.

Some of my stress was decreased by calling my insurance company and finding out what the hell was up with the claim from my first orthopedist. Turns out that his office not only filed the claim well after the accepted timeframe (February office visit - claim filed in September???) but that they used the wrong tax ID code for their office, making them come up as an out-of-network provider.

I got the correct info from my insurance company and tried calling the doctor to straighten it out. I tried calling for two hours straight; busy signal or no answer. I kept calling. Then it started going to the answering service. So - I wrote a letter and sent it via registered mail. Boom. Done. I instructed them to refile the claim using the proper tax ID # and informed them that they’d have to provide a letter of explanation to the insurance company outlining WHY the claim was so delinquent. And I tacked on that any further communication regarding this claim should be conducted with my insurance company, and thanked them for their prompt attention and for resolving this matter.

I’ll have to check the signature tracking at work tomorrow to make sure bitches got it.

I also made an appointment with a regular old primary care physician-type doctor, since I haven’t had a regular old checkup in… um… five years? I’ve seen specialists and mental health professionals, and I guess my gynecologist sort of qualifies, but she’s not one for the chatting and I need to chat. Because perhaps a lot of the things I’ve been experiencing lately are caused by one thing.

Perhaps this thing is hypothyroidism. My mother was recently diagnosed with Hashimoto’s thyroiditis and I was tested for hypothyroidism six years ago and the results were negative. Things can change, though. Check it - symptoms of hypothyroidism:

Fatigue - yup
Weakness - yup
Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight - YUP
Coarse, dry hair - nah
Dry, rough pale skin - dry and pale, not rough
Hair loss - yup
Cold intolerance (can’t tolerate the cold like those around you)- yup
Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches - yup
Constipation - nope
Depression - YUP
Irritability - yup
Memory loss - yup
Abnormal menstrual cycles - N/A since I regulate that medically
Decreased libido - N/A since I ain’t got no man

The doctor might send me off to an endocrinologist, but seeing a PCP is a good first step, I gather. I’d rather do this than just pick an endocrinologist off of my insurance website and start from there. A diagnosis would be a good start - self-diagnosis can only take a person so far. The appointment is next Friday. Three weeks later (Oct. 27), I have my wrist surgery. Chances are that I will be a less active web person during the recovery.

In the land of “things I’m looking forward to” - there is tomorrow, which is Friday and an indication that I made it through one week already. There is Saturday when I will be seeing “The Science of Sleep” with Kofi and Theresa. I am quite excited about that. I’m getting a sort of darker “Amelie” vibe about it (that’s probably the Michel Gondry effect)… and then there’s the stunning fact of Gael García Bernal. Adorable. My age, so I don’t have to feel weird. And pretty damn sharp.

I saw an interview with him when “The Motorcycle Diaries” was first released (I don’t remember if it was Charlie Rose or what) and he was extremely well-spoken - more so than most of his acting kin for whom English was a FIRST language - and politically informed and just… I dunno. Dreamy. And, apparently, “when he was 14 he taught literacy to indigenous peoples in Mexico, most often with the Huichol Indians.” That’s just lovely.

Anyway, I’m feeling exhausted. I’m going to finish this mug of green tea (Harney and Sons Bangkok blend - green tea with coconut, lemongrass and ginger… delightful) and collapse on my bed. I’m not even washing off my eye makeup. Splashing any water on my face at this point would wake me up too much.