I will have this final paper finished, basically, tomorrow. My struggle will be staying within the maximum/suggested/required word count. I’ll just write the thing then go through and edit down as much as possible; it’s amazing what a few colons and semicolons can do.

Physical manifestations of stress? My neck is really sore and crunchy, and my left calf is extremely sore. I soaked it in Epsom salts Sunday night, used a heating pad last night + Icy Hot right before bed, and tonight will be another Icy Hot night.

Additional sources of stress? My father. < start> When I got home from work today, I was going through the mail on the kitchen counter and pulling out my Netflix, Time Magazine, bills and my monthly train pass. I said hello to my father and he came over to me and was just looking at me, smiling. Sort of sweet and fatherly, so I started kidding with him: “I said hello - I’m being a good daughter.” He patted me on the head and said (in Polish), “Hello, my cute daughter…” then proceeded right into, “…but what about the rest of you? Do you see your mother on the treadmill? She’s taking care of her figure and minding her looks. You should do the same.” I just sighed and walked away. What else can I do? How many times can I have this argument with him? How many times can I have this civilized conversation with him? The one that goes, “when you say things like that, it really hurts me and drives me to hate myself. It doesn’t inspire me to change; it makes me want to give up.” He just doesn’t understand that. < end>

So. As a reward for getting a significant portion of this paper done, I am settling in for the night with a tube of Icy Hot and one of the first prison-break movies ever made: La grande illusion (Parlez vous anglais? Oui? C’est “Grand Illusion”)

Netflix summary: “Two French soldiers — blue-collar Maréchal (Jean Gain) and genteel de Boieldieu (Pierre Fresnay) — strive to overcome their differences while plotting their escape from a German prison camp during World War I. Meanwhile, de Boieldieu finds a kindred spirit among his captors in a patrician German officer (Erich von Stroheim). Directed by Jean Renoir, the film is one of the first prison-break movies ever made and is considered a genre classic.”

Film classic! Prison-break movie! Jean Renoir! Criterion Collection! Overcoming differences! Kindred spirits!

It might end up being boring as shit, but I doubt it. There will be something to latch onto, whether it’s some great mise en scene or lighting or a relationship between characters.

Actually, I’m not too far off with that last bit. I guess taking three undergrad film courses at NYU really did teach me to bullshit effectively in the cinema arena. Just kidding. They were great classes and I learned a very interesting lot. However, since I realized that I have no idea what a “typical” Renoir film trait is, I checked it out:

“Typical for his films are continually changing relationships between people, deep-focus frame, moving camera, and long takes which recorded the intimate thoughts of his characters. “In nature nothing is created, nothing is lost, everything is transformed,” Renoir once said. “Simplicity is absolutely essential to creation. Those people who make love while saying: “We’re going to have a magnificent child”; well, they won’t have a magnificent child, they may not have any child at all that evening… The magnificent child comes by chance, one day after a good laugh, a picnic, fun in the woods, a roll in the hay, then a magnificent child is born!” (from Renoir on Renoir, 1989)”

Changing relationships between people… check! I’ll report back at some point.

I have a haircut on Thursday night. Late Thursday, but I am in dire need. Friday night = doctor. Saturday we’re having (finally) my brother’s birthday dinner… the one that he himself couldn’t be bothered to attend in the first place. We’ll see if it actually transpires. The rest of the weekend, I am cleaning my room of the accumulated paper waste of a semester of print-outs and rough drafts and scribbles on paper. There’s lots of other messiness I can’t blame on school, but I can blame school for my lack of cleaning time and energy.

Sigh. I’m getting in the mood to clean. It’s a strange thing. I develop a taste for it the way some people might go, “I feel like getting a manicure.” I go, “I feel like cleaning.” It makes me feel better. I cleaned and organized my cubicle today. It wasn’t disorganized to start, but I had far too many cardboard boxes sitting underneath my various work surfaces and on the floor. So I ordered two large Rubbermaid bins from our office supply website and moved everything into them. They’re clear and plastic and have nice lids that I can slide right off and I can see everything inside of them and they’re easy to lift and move, and - most importantly - they fit perfectly under my desk and can act as a footrest, too, if need be.

Prison-break time.