The long weekend “away” was quite beneficial to my mental state. Somehow, being an independent city-dweller for five days improved my self-esteem a great deal - especially since I managed to use the subway system (which I really dislike) without any problems or errors or strange people bothering me.

I guess it’s one of the benefits of being a little chunkier than generally desirable; you don’t get cat-calls and strange men thinking it’s OK to talk to you in the street.

I think I’m well on my way out of this most recent bout of depression. I am feeling a little tired, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary. It comes with the territory.

To catch up, on Friday night I went to a tapas bar called “Sol y Sombra” on Amsterdam btw. 82nd and 83rd with Theresa and Kofi. We had some very tasty and strong mojitos (I only drank about 2/3 of mine) and then had one of the best dinners ever… chicken croquettes with homemade tomato sauce, grilled whole shrimp with sea salt, queso manchego with apple slices and raisin nut bread, chorizo, and then four desserts for the three of us: poached pears in red wine sauce, apple tart, Mexican rice pudding and the BEST FLAN IN THE WORLD.

Theresa put it best (if somewhat crassly - but that’s why I love her) when she said, “The caramel fairy just came in my mouth.” Amazing stuff.

Before that dinner, we walked around the upper West side a bit and I bought myself a new writing journal and a pretty silver keychain that’s a lowercase letter “e”. We also amused ourselves terribly by talking like robots - that is, monotonously, and saying things like “this equals fun.”

Saturday, it was rainy and then it hailed. I took Junebug (the doggie I was pet-sitting) for a walk in the morning, then in the afternoon… she HATES the rain. But I got to play with her when I was towelling her off, so it turned out OK. I met up with Theresa at the Lush store on Broadway at 5:30 since she and Kofi were back in NY anyway, and then we went down to the Village to do a little shopping. We didn’t get to the stores we wanted, but we walked about 40 blocks and then took the subway back to 34th street, did some underwear shopping at Macy’s Herald Square, and then met with Kofi and his friends Emily and Chris to walk back down to 14th street to an authentic, homemade Mexican restaurant called MaryAnn’s.

That was also exceptionally delicious. I had a goat cheese quesadilla with shrimp and mushrooms and grilled corn and, of course, goat cheese. I don’t usually allow mushrooms to be included, but I decided to live dangerously. It was delightful and delicious, and then I took the train back home, walked Junebug and went to sleep. Sunday morning was sunny and chilly, and I awoke pretty early for another walk with the Bug. Then there was drama involved in getting home which I won’t describe since it will just get me angry.

Long story short, Theresa and Kofi were CHAMPS and drove into NYC to pick me up, then we stopped at a diner on the way home and enjoyed burgers and buffalo wings. Mmmm. Not healthy, but sooooo good.

I did laundry, I read, and went to work today. I found out that my boss won’t be back from Dublin until Wednesday (she was supposed to be back tomorrow) and this sort of works out since I stayed later than usual tonight and can leave at 5:00 tomorrow to catch the earlier train and make it back in time for a “Welcome Back to NJ” dinner for Theresa, being hosted by Kofi at a local French & Italian restaurant where I’ve never been, but have wanted to go.

So. Yeah. Other things that ran through my mind today were that guys use the girlfriend excuse a LOT to justify what might be otherwise considered homosexual or emasculating behavior. I noticed it today because my friend posted something on a discussion board he frequents about a musical he saw this weekend with his girlfriend. However, the way it was written was sort of telling… discursive, if you will. He started with a defense statement to the effect of “go ahead, make the jokes about my decreased manliness…” and then proceeded along to mentioning that he saw a musical with his “gf”. Blah blah blah, musical sucked, blah blah blah, “but there was a chick from ‘American Idol’ in it (I only know this because my gf told me) and she could really sing.”

It’s interesting how the “GF defense” (as I’m now dubbing it) works. I wrote him, “I think it’s rather funny that the slightest hint of homophobic comments or whatnot are pre-annihiliated by the use of two magical letters - “gf”. Sigh. At least I know that if I’m ever someone’s girlfriend (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha - that’s f’in hilarious), I will be a good one who won’t require use of “the gf” excuse. If something sucks, I won’t be dragging anyone to see it against their will or to prove they care about me. Then again, maybe guys secretly like being able to do/see ghey things and use that excuse. Hrm. A new theory is in the works.”

He replied back that the only reason he used that was because he knew he was going to be entering a discussion with many homophobic males, but the issue for me was not whether he should or should not be using the defense but, rather, how it completely prevented the other guys in the discussion from making comments they might otherwise make… because it was for the “gf.” It’s almost like doing emasculating things for a chick makes them honorable and more manly… an interesting dichotomy.

OK. Enough of this. I want to soak in the tub.