One of the signs of my worsening depression is a loss of appetite and increasing irritability.

Both have been in full effect lately, especially in my home life. At work, due in large part to the constant distractions, it’s not as much of an issue. But I have been having a rough time finding something I want to eat… I know that I need to since my stomach is grumbling and I get a headache. However, I don’t really want to eat.

I’ve been having a LOT of grapefruits, though. Pink grapefruit and salt water taffy. Honestly, not a good source of nutrition, but that’s been my dinner these past two nights.

As far as irritability, my father asked me to repeat myself when I was answering a question for him. I was upstairs; he was downstairs so it was understandable that he couldn’t hear me clearly. However, upon having to repeat myself a third time, a very clear note of annoyance entered my voice and the conversation began to escalate into an argument… though my answer - while containing a tone of annoyance - was a polite and good answer.

I just don’t feel like dealing with people in general. I thought I would have fun plans on Friday night with my former co-workers. Nope. People are busy.

It’s better this way, anyway. I have two papers due next week - my second group project for which I am responsible for the introduction and background info, and a research and discussion paper due Wed. I started research for both, but the group project one is still pending a response from my group partner for the assigned section.

So I’ll be holed up in my room, sitting on my bed, at my desk or at my computer, tap-tap-tapping away at the keyboard and alternately outlining things in my notebook (since that helps me when I have a block or can’t get a clear sense of what to write). I might pop out to get some food. Maybe I’ll pick up some Indian takeout or something equally pungent since I won’t be in a social setting and won’t have to worry about onion or garlic or curry breath.

Perhaps -with enough effort- I’ll be able to metamorphose this crap weekend into something a little better: a weekend of intellectual, literary and cultural solitude (to contrast with the usual “framing” I use - “sitting alone in my room reading and moping”). I’ll read and write and listen to some world music CDs and eat some Indian food and take a long tea bath. Yes, I have bath tea… it’s like a HUGE tea bag - about 3″ by 4″ filled with tea leaves and orange rinds, etc. and you “brew” it up in hot bath water. It smells divine and it’s quite relaxing. That could be a reward after I finish one paper.

Framing - maybe it’s all in the framing. The verbal/neuro-linguistic framing, not like picture framing.

Though there is a good article in the most recent (3/27) issue of “The New Yorker” about framing fine art and how that’s becoming an art form in and of itself. Fascinating, actually. It’s called “Frame Game” by Leo Carey, featured in the “Onward and Upward with the Arts” section. It’s not available online yet, but if you go to the website and search in a week or two, it should be in the archives then. The subtitle is “Gilt and Impressionism don’t go.”