I’ve been feeling exceedingly guilty lately. With my tax return about to show up in my bank account any day now, I am already planning what to do with a quarter of it - $300. That’s what I’m allowing myself as “fun” money to get myself a treat. I could go shopping for clothing, but I’ve already promised myself a miniature clothing shopping spree when I lost a certain amount of weight. So that’s out.

I considered the whole “pamper myself” routine - manicure, pedicure, massage - but, honestly, the only thing I’d really want is the massage because the other two aren’t worth it for a chick with nails as weak and active as mine. I’m just not meant to have a pretty manicure. I’ve had them before and I’ll get them in the future, but I’m honestly better off doing it at home. As for the massage, I’m loathe to visit a masseur about whom I haven’t heard good things from trusted sources. I’ve got to do some research into that one before I do anything.

The thought that keeps creeping up is: “New iPod!” While I love my iPod, Minky Billups, her battery has seen better days. I can replace the battery and she’d be fine… but I am lusting after another. The sleek black iPod. Check it out. How could I not WANT this thing? BADLY??

But I feel guilty. Like I’m abandoning Minky… which I wouldn’t. I’d still get her a new battery and pass her along into a good new home… since my friend Theresa hinted that she wouldn’t mind adopting Minky.

Of course, there’s the issue of naming a new iPod. Could it be Minky 2? Could it be Minky reincarnated and take the same name? I’m attached to the name quite a bit. My second choice would be Pippa, but that’s not very iPod-esque.

Perhaps I need to perform some research on other names for a sleek black iPod. While I thought it was somewhat clever, I won’t do what someone I know did - got a black cat and named her Moesha since, she stated, “a black cat needs a black name.” I did give my white iPod a very white name… Minky. It’s in the same class as “Buffy” and “Bambi” and “Tipper.” Sort of WASPy.

Actually, the way I came up with Minky’s name was from watching movie credits… for “Bend it Like Beckham.” Perhaps I should visit imdb.com and search through the credits of some movies and see what I come up with. Field trip time!

I could go with Miette, the name of the main character in “City of Lost Children.” It starts with an “M” and so does Minky, and it’s French, which goes with the whole look of the black iPod. Vianney is the name of one of members of the sound crew. It’s not nearly as cute though.

(Have we noticed that this was never really a debate about whether or not I should get the new iPod? Yeah. I noticed that too.)

Nika? Pippa? Tammo van Hoorn was the first assistant camera person on “Shaun of the Dead.” That’s a pretty cool name. I could also just name it a letter - like “M” or “Q” in the James Bond movies, or “J” and “K” in Men in Black.

I have almost forgotten to mention that my brother is moving into his new apartment today/tomorrow/this weekend. He’s going to be so much happier and more relaxed there… and I think the household will be, too. Less arguing. Less stress and tension. This is not to say I won’t miss his humorous outbursts at times, but it’s a very good thing overall. I started looking at apartment listings last night to see what I’d need to save/earn/etc. to afford a place on my own… sans roommate.

The long and short of it is that if I want to live alone - in a two bedroom (one room for books and computer, bedroom separate) - I need to be earning more money and paying off my debt. If I am content with a one bedroom, I still need to be paying off my debt and just saving some more cash. I will get a raise in April since that’s my 6-month mark. Depending on whether I get a raise AND promotion or just a raise… we’ll see where life leads me. I would like to be somewhere along the train line I take, or within walking distance of a PATH train so I can get into work with relative ease.

But this is not something I am going to jump into. As badly as I want to be on my own again, I have to be smart about it and not jump ahead of what I can realistically handle in terms of money. I have to be financially solid… not rich, just solid. Having more than a few bucks in my checking account between paychecks would be a start… and as debts are paid off and less money is coming out of my bank account for those every month, there will be more money to put into savings or paying off other debts… and achieving my goals.

For now, though, I have to do some more reading for school and post something to the class discussion board. It’s too late to eat dinner, but I can have a yogurt or some cereal so I don’t go to bed hungry.