Nov 10
mind over matter
Stress and depression make me sicker than any actual viruses or bacteria ever do (and I double-checked the plural of virus before I typed that. Trust me.)
The last couple of days, I’ve been stressing over random big things in my life that I can’t currently change. Because they’re big and beyond my grasp, I of course worry about them far more than I should and let them dictate sweeping stupid thoughts and statements about me (e.g. “I am wasting my life” and “I am inconsequential to everything and everyone”). That’s not entirely normal.
I’ve spent the last two hours or so since I got home crying in the most undignified, horrible, weepy female fashion - not pretty crying, no, but the kind that leaves me incapable of breathing until I blow my nose and then horrifies me with the prodigious volume of stuff in my head. And I’m not talking about Trivial Pursuit answers.
Thankfully, friends were available in this time of need and talked me down. The cloud is still there, but it’s not raining at the moment, which is good because my head hurts from it all.
I don’t care to explore this further because I will start crying again. And I don’t need to do that to myself.
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