May 27
Yes, Mark Morford, yes.
Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle entertains me. In a smarty pants way. This time, it goes nicely with my recent crap magazine overdose. He’s written about magazine photo retouching (and the “noxious, silly game” of image manipulation to the point of plastic perfection) and why it’s not going away anytime soon. He starts:
I have a vision. It is for a smart, sexy new upstart fashion celeb lifestyle hipster magazine and it will be a raw and shocking and anarchic thing, mostly because its radical manifesto will contain the resolute and mighty vow to be as real and authentic and photographically honest as possible in every way at all times without fail, almost. How radical? Well, my magazine will have this one overarching rule: no Photoshopping. No professional retouching to any ad or product or grisly food item, no ridiculous digital enhancement of any celeb’s face or torso or battle-scarred pelvis, no dramatic re-backgrounding, no slippery light effects or lip enhancements or ass lifts, with the possible exception of zapping a few errant nose hairs or stray gray pubes and of course excepting any shot containing Ashlee Simpson or Tom Cruise or Adam Sandler, who will be eliminated from any photo completely and replaced with a feral squirrel or perhaps some nice shrubbery.
There will be pimples. There will be blemishes. There will be wrinkles and scars and flab and sag, stretch marks and cigarette burns and age spots and syringe holes and bone spurs and dark circles and giant moles and droopy kneecaps and asymmetry galore. Won’t that be wonderful? Won’t that be refreshing?
Yeah, he’s good times.
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