My friend Krys pointed out that haven’t blogged in ages. I am aware of this, but I’ve been operating under the “if you don’t anything interesting to say, don’t say anything at all” model.
However, on this rainy Wednesday afternoon, I find myself sitting with 30 minutes to kill (that I will not use to do work I could also be doing) while waiting to board a flight to San Francisco (for work). JetBlue provides free WiFi in this terminal, so I’m taking advantage.
Anyway – yeah. I may have to pay $7 for a blanket later, but at least I’m getting free internets right now. Unsecured. Sure. I’ll just stay away from online banking for a half hour.
I was thinking of posting about a matter that crossed my mind a few weeks ago when I got a haircut – the speed with which some relationships can go from handshake to hug. There are very few industries and interactions that allow you to make this jump. But I’ll expand on that another time.
Other thoughts: I’m way stressed. It’s not any one thing, but rather an overwhelming sense over the last few months that my time is not my own to divide and use. I wake up in order to prepare for work so I can get to the train on time. I fit my breakfast in before my morning meetings. I get lunch when I can and often have to cut it short to run to my afternoon meetings. I have to leave work within a 10 minute window of time if I want to catch my train and get a seat. Depending on the night, I have to fit in doing laundry, rock-climbing, visit with the doctor, etc. — or sometimes working from home or running errands. I maybe have one night a week that I can just sit and watch a movie. My Netflix return history is a testament to this; I recently returned two films I’d been trying to watch since February 12th.
My weekends are a nice break since I get away and visit with friends, but this respite from the crappitude of life is bookended by more time pressure and scheduling; if I want to beat the traffic on Friday afternoon, I have to leave work either before or after a certain time… but still have to finish what I need to finish. Friday nights and Saturdays are restful and fine. But when I wake up on Sunday, I’m already getting anxious about the drive home and how that translates… if I leave at x:00 hour, I get home approx 2.5 hours later, then I can unpack, do laundry, etc. and go to sleep by a certain time so I can wake up in order to prepare for work and get to the train on time.
There is no wiggle room – except for part of the weekend.
So – I’m in the midst of a 12-day stretch of work (including a trip to California, but that will be work, too) and then it will be another week before I can have a restful weekend. So, I’m looking ahead at 20 days of run-run-run, from day to day, from work to home to errands, from meeting to meeting, from deadline to deadline, from familial obligation to familial obligation… and I just need a break.
It’s time for a vacation. The plan is to take a week… a full week… and use that time to do what I want to do, with no schedule or pressure. I mean, routines are good. I love routines. They stabilize me and my moods in a nice way – but routines like seeing friends are positive; the other stuff? Just stressful.
Anyway, we’ll be boarding soon. Let’s see what else the internets have to offer.