… a vacation.
… some blunt object to hit me in the head and put me into a coma for a few weeks.
… to win the lottery and spend the next year decorating a beautiful house I’d buy with my winnings and going back to grad school to pursue whatever intellectual pursuits I want next.
… my routine back.
… to really know that the people I care about also care about me.
… time to figure out what’s next.
… to get back into writing or something creative.
… a hug.
… a martini, but only one.
… to calm the fuck down already.
… to not care.
… to stop feeling this way.
… to boost my emotional immune system.
… a warm bath.
I’m moving into some bad mental territory. It’s triggered by stress, but that doesn’t make it any less real or valid. Now is when I start with the distractions… because if I leave myself alone with my thoughts for too long in a state like this, bad cyclical thoughts and things will happen and I will revert back to a person to whom I thought I’d bid a final farewell about this time last year.