I don’t know why I let myself look at NOTCOT.

Almost every day, I find an object of desire or lust. Because, like many Americans, I lust after objects, a.k.a. material things. (What!? Why you lookin’ all cross-eyed?) Today, this made me wish I’d started a fund back in the day, say, with a share of Google stock, and had held onto it until now so I could pay off debts and just go shopping like the crazy girl I am.

shapeimage_2.jpg Um, hi. A silver scissor cuff bracelet – it does actually open, providing a different look. Right now, it doesn’t look like it’s available yet; it’s part of a forthcoming collection from an Italian designer. But damn. And I bet it will be out of my price range. Sadness washes over me.

One thing I could afford would be this unnecessarily huge birthday candle. The site provides an image of the candle alongside a champagne flute and a layer cake to give you a sense of scale. Incredibly ridiculous.

And how about the Negativity Refuse Bag? The gimmick there is that it’s printed with instructions on how to rid yourself of negativity or inner demons. You place the offending items (say, things that remind you of an ex or a bad habit) into the bag and throw it away. Yes, you could do that with an ordinary trash bag, but this has more flair. I’d consider buying a few if I had any friends who were serial daters who got totally attached to people and then ended up burning everything associated with that person when it was over. It would be a nice companion to the “let’s watch a DVD and eat some ice cream” combo.

There’s also a ring that’s carved to the shape of your loved ones’ facial profile. Those start at $580 (I’m guessing that’s for the basic stainless steel ring, not the platinum). They say, “Take your loved one’s profile with you everywhere you go- who could want more?” That might not be the right way to spin it, but I get what they’re aiming for.

I’m going through the items I’ve marked in Google Reader (I subscribe to the NOTCOT.org RSS feed) and there’s just too much coolness. Too much. I am overwhelmed. I will now let that wash over me.

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