The daily grind has seemed like more than I can handle these last few weeks. I find myself reliving every comment I’ve made at work or otherwise and lecturing myself on keeping my mouth shut, and keep assuming that I know that other people are thinking negative things about me – which I recognize as being insane, but I’m still doing it.
Since my visit to the doctor on Friday night, I’ve been reading up on a medication he’s prescribed to me (in addition to increasing the dosage of medication A) and finding myself a little wary of the drug. On both reputable medical sites and user-generated sites/discussion boards, the effects of the drug beyond its main purpose are a bit scary. Any drug that can cause memory loss and aphasia doesn’t sound like a good idea and will make me feel crazier than I already feel, but the alternative isn’t particularly pretty either.
The pharmacy couldn’t dispense the drug on Saturday morning since they had a question on the usage instructions and wanted to call my doctor’s office tomorrow. So I have a day, give or take, to figure this out and call the doctor’s office myself. It wouldn’t be something I’d be taking forever; just for a month or two… so the ill effects might be OK for that length of time, but it’s still not a decision I can make blithely.
I just need to stop feeling like this.