I’m sure other people have had their first snow already, but my little corner of NJ just had its first. Here’s what I woke up to this morning.
I’m probably going to go outside and take a few more pictures in a little while. However, I first plan on getting my Christmas CDs and waking up the rest of the household (they’re all awake, just lounging in bed) with one of my all-time favorite Christmas-time songs: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”, aka the Christmas Date-Rape Song. Have you ever considered the lyrics that I believe Mr. Dean Martin performs most convincingly?
The male lyrics are in regular typeface, while the chick’s part is in italics. I’ve bolded the parts I find disturbingly hilarious.
I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Well, maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour
The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move in closer
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside
I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside
The answer is no – Ooh baby, it’s cold outside
This welcome has been – I’m lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm — Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious – Man, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door – Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious – Gosh your lips look delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more – Never such a blizzard before
I’ve got to go home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your comb – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – Your eyes are like starlight now
But don’t you see – How can you do this thing to me
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow – Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia and died
I really can’t stay – Get over that old out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside
Baby it’s cold outside
Granted, the chick is a ditz if his lines about her lips being like waves upon a tropical shore, her hair looking swell and constant confirmation that she’s beautiful convinces her to stay for another drink… but the point is, SHE SAID NO! His flawed logic about not being able to get a cab? Why not offer to walk her or drive her home himself if he’s sober enough since he’s probably not drinking as much as he’s serving to her? LAME. Transparent.
**NOTE: This is a tongue-in-cheek close reading. I’m not sitting here getting my feminist feathers in a twist over it; that would be a little ridiculous and somewhat fruitless. I enjoy this song tremendously and it’s a fun little time-capsule of days gone by.
Ah. I could sleep all day. However, I’m going to get up, go downstairs, put on the Christmas music and have some hot chocolate and Honey Nut Cheerios. Then tree decorating will commence.