Excerpt from an IM conversation with a friend this evening. You are coming into it as we are discussing relationship issues and how he wishes he knew how an individual he cares for feels about him:
friend (19:19:26 pm): sometimes it’d be nice to know though.
friend (19:19:30 pm): it’s hard.
me (19:19:33 pm): I know. Trust me, I know.
me (19:19:54 pm): to actually have a psychic friend would be most excellent in those moments
friend (19:20:09 pm): unless you didn’t like what you found out
me (19:20:27 pm): to me it wouldn’t matter- it would give me an answer that couldn’t be misinterpreted…
me(19:20:56 pm): even if I didn’t like what I found out, it would be the truth and that’s all I can ever really hope to get.
friend (19:21:08 pm): see i think that’s bullshit.
me (19:21:11 pm): honesty is more important to me than what I want to hear
friend (19:21:44 pm): because if you knew, it would necessarily affect the way you would act in the future. sometimes not knowing is better, because the way you act is better, more fruitful, in the long run.
me (19:22:37 pm): I guess it depends on the situation. In my experience, however – past and present – it was preferable to have the truth – however painful – to not knowing and wasting time or effort or emotion in fruitless endeavors
friend (19:23:10 pm): perhaps they are only fruitless because you then believe them to be fruitless.
me (19:24:58 pm): nah. I just accept that I can’t change anyone else, so if I knew that they felt/thought a certain way about a situation or person or idea or me, it wouldn’t be a self-fulfilling prophecy because I would have closure and just go back to maintaining the status quo in a particular situation
Then he got caught up in playing a video game or something and the conversation basically ended.